Why Didn't I Go?

Forgive this post. It's me venting... to myself. I'm sitting here reading Bob Lefsetz's recap of last night's final Nine Inch Nails show. And I'm asking myself over and over again, why didn't I go?

I knew these shows were coming. The last ones NIN would supposedly ever play. One of my top 3 favorite bands of all time (Pink Floyd, Replacements, NIN - in case you were wondering).

I have some decent, not great, excuses:

1. I couldn't get tickets (B.S. if I want to see something bad enough, I can get tickets)
2. I was too tired, I'd been out every night and I wake up early every morning at 6am with my son (B.S. I used to live by the "you'll sleep when you're dead" philosophy)
3. I want to remember them the way I saw them back in 1990 in New York at the New Music Seminar.
   

I'm going to stick with #3. It's the only way I can move on and not dwell on the fact that I missed NIN over the past week when they played the smallest shows they've played in years.

The last time I saw NIN was at Coachella a few years back. They were really good. But as I told their agent Marc, they didn't play enough old stuff. He told me he told Trent and they had added a few more old songs to the set. I'm not taking any credit for that, but you can see, if I can get in the ear of the agent, I could have gotten tickets to the show.

The first time I saw NIN was at the New Music Seminar in New York. I was still in college at UC San Diego and the campus concert promoter. I'd convinced my university to send me to NMS because I wanted to bring bigger acts to UCSD. I stumbled into a club called The Academy to see this band I'd only heard about. It was a good sized room, held about 1,500 people. The band was on stage with one small lighting truss hanging from the ceiling. Trent kept grabbing it and swinging over the stage and the crowd. Then he threw his guitar at his keyboard player. There was more anger, energy, and intensity than I'd ever seen. There might have even been blood. I know there was blood at other NIN shows I would later see.

I was mesmerized. I would later make sure a lot of the bands I worked with played at The Academy just so I could tell them that I once saw Nine Inch Nails there.

I came back to school and did everything I could to get NIN to play UCSD. But I lost the show to the other school in town - San Diego State. But that was ok, I knew the promoter over there and I went to the show. And it was unbelievable. They came back again a few months later and played a club called Iguanas in Tijuana, Mexico. I was managing a local techno band and I got them the opening slot. I stood at the side of the stage and I watched Trent break things, throw bottle after bottle of water into the crowd. Then he walked off stage and shut the dressing room door and I heard furniture being smashed. It was terrifying. But exhilarating.

I think I saw NIN 5 times on the Pretty Hate Machine tour alone. (Their first album)

And that is how I will remember them.

Oh yes, there was one other extremely memorable show.

1994. I was working for A&M Records. We were putting out the Woodstock album. Along with a dozen other A&M'ers, I was in upstate New York witnessing one of the greatest events I'd ever been too. And I told everyone, you have to see Nine Inch Nails. Most of them were more interested in seeing Bob Dylan. I told them to trust me.

I raced to the back of the main stage. I wanted to get a great seat in the VIP area.

And there he was. Standing backstage. Trent was in a trance. He dropped to the ground and rolled around in the mud. He was covered. His face looked like it was covered in milk chocolate pudding.

And when people spoke of that Woodstock, they all said NIN stole the show.

So that is the way I will choose to remember NIN. They're not gone. Trent is still alive and changing the musical landscape. And I believe they'll play again. But if I never see Nine Inch Nails again, I have some of the greatest memories of some of the greatest shows ever played. In my life!