Keeping Up

Blogging is like an addiction. Not a bad one, but it is like an addiction.

If you are an addict, you know what it is like to want to do something so bad, and try so hard not to do it. Addictions aren't all bad. So I'm not just talking about things like drugs. When I was younger, I was addicted to work. I wasn't happy unless I was working. I still found time to hang out with friends and do lots of "kid" type stuff, but I loved to work. I couldn't wait til the next day to start work again.

Now I'm addicted to my son. I can't wait to see my son every day. He doesn't even know who I am, but I don't care, I want to see my son. I want to hold him in my arms and carry him around the house.

But I find myself addicted to bad things too. My biggest addiction. Haagen Daz coffee ice cream. It may actually kill me. I can polish a pint of that off in 10 minutes and still want more. Do you have any idea how many calories are in a pint of Haagen Daz coffee ice cream? Over 1,000. Carbs = 84g. Fat = 72g. You get the point.

So every now and then I go on a crash diet and I stop eating ice cream and about 1 million other foods that are horrible for me. I know, I know, diets are bad, it's all about changing your eating habits. Blah, blah, blah. I'm an addict. Don't try to reason with me.

It took me 30+ years to figure out that I'm an addict. I used to tell people that I didn't have an addictive personality and that I could quit anything. To some extent that is true. But I'm not kidding anyone. I have addictive tendencies. Plain and simple.

Which brings me to blogging. I love this whole blogging thing. I want to blog all the time. I think about blogging every time I see something interesting. It is an addiction. It's not necessarily bad for me, but I am addicted. The tough part is that I can't always find the time to blog. If you look at my last post, it is from nearly a month ago. Pathetic! I've been going through serious withdrawals. I dream about blogging. I make lists of things to blog about.

But here is my dilemma. When I started blogging, I would just post random thoughts. I figured no one was reading it anyway. But then people started to read my blogs and I figured that I had to have something to say. So I started putting hours into my blogs. Yes, it actually takes me hours sometimes because I'm researching and revising and trying to structure my blog post like a story with a beginning, middle, and an end. And then guess what? I stopped blogging. I couldn't find the time to think through my thoughts. I felt that I'd built up a level of expectation and I couldn't go backwards. Next thing you know, a month has gone by.

"Why aren't you blogging?" I'd be asked. "Oh I want to," I'd say. "I'm just swamped, and with the baby and all..." But what was really happening was that I couldn't sit still long enough to think through a blog.

So here I am today. April 9, 2008. My name is Larry Weintraub and I am an addict. A blog addict. And a Haagen Daz addict. And a Brandon Weintraub addict. And that is ok. I'm dealing with my addictions. I'm going to blog more, but they won't always be the most poignant blogs. I just need to say what is on my mind. And you can tell me you like what I say or don't. I'm ok either way.